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xMitsix's Journal


xMitsix's Journal

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16 entries this month
 

Day 16...WOW that's alotta days

04:51 Jul 31 2009
Times Read: 538




Well, hmmm, ummmm, I don’t actually have anything to complain about today lol. Shocked much?



The sun is shining for once and it’s kinda warm. It’s Friday, so no daily grind for the next 2 days. I have no idea how many days to go until my hunk of man comes back, but I’m dealing with it….finally :P



I had a bus load of Drag Queens come into work today to eat. They were effin FABULOUS!!!! I have never laughed so much by just watching people interact with each other, they made my day!!!. Oh, and the outfits they had on were like WOW lol. One had to have been 6 foot 5 without the 7 inch heels, I don’t know how she walks without falling over lol. Her dress on the other hand, I have tank tops longer than it. They were all lovely and invited me to come to their show if I’m ever in their city. Now that would be awesome lol.



It seems no matter where you go, there’s always some whiney ass who feels the need to shoot off at the mouth. That’s probably because that’s all they can do, talk. I find it rather amusing and quite sad at the same time. They seem to make the biggest deal over the most insignificant things and expect the rest of the world to give a flying fuck about it.



Shit happens my friend, build a bridge and get over it :)


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Day 15...

08:54 Jul 30 2009
Times Read: 544




Another day gone. Thank whatever deity that’s on duty right now, because it’s Friday tomorrow.

Today was ok, nothing disastrous occurred so that’s a plus.



Still missing him though. Oh well, the wait will be all over soon and we can go back to being us again *smiles*.



At least I didn't have to deal with any evil family members today. Next time I think I will listen to my Father when he says "Dont go there is she's going to be a she bitch". My Father is a very wise man lol.



I’m going to try and enjoy myself on Sunday, who knows, I may like being up in the cold, snowy, freezing mountains, haha. I will probably post in here how effin cold it was and how it should be illegal lol.



I think I’m going to go and watch the rugby game on TV now. No tears tonight :)


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Day 14...

09:47 Jul 29 2009
Times Read: 551




Tonight has not been the greatest of nights. Actually, the whole days kinda sucked. I have that icky feeling back again and I’m having to fight the constant urge of wanting to cry. It’s getting quite tiresome, pretending to be happy when all you really want to do is crawl up in a ball and sob until you feel slightly normal again. I seriously need a hug….



I hate having to deal with family members who have made it their life’s goal to do or say anything to try and bring you even more down emotionally, than you already are. I’m pretty sure my Grandmother is the reincarnation of some demon thing, well when it comes to her dealings with me anyways. It’s always been like that, so I can’t say I’m really surprised. She’s exactly like her daughter, my “Mother” to use the term very loosely. Meh, they can all kiss my royal ass for all I care.



A friend asked me to go to the mountains on Sunday, she’s doing a triathlon around the lake and asked if I’d go to drive her home. Should be a nice 4 hour drive there and another 4 hours back. I don’t really want to go but what else do I have to do right now?



Well only another 14 more days to go and judging by the long ass amount of entries I’ve done so far, it’s 14 days too long…



Yes, I am feeling sorry for myself.

Yay me :)


COMMENTS

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ladySnowStrixx
ladySnowStrixx
13:47 Jul 29 2009

hon, the best way to handle the Grandmother is be indifferent to her ,I had one just like her , my fathers mother and she hated me only because I was a girl and had been sick when I was born. when she says " just like her mother " smile really big and say "Why Thank you "glad you Noticed. believe me she will get the hint and eventuality stop. Good luck Sweetie,





xMitsix
xMitsix
08:46 Jul 30 2009

Thankies :)



I discovered at an early age that ignoring her was the best way to combat her evilness lol. It’s just at certain times, when things get piled up, when I let her vile comments get at me.





 

Day 13...

10:02 Jul 28 2009
Times Read: 566




So, I got a call from him today, well actually I called him but yeah :P. Looks like it’s going to be at least another 2 weeks until he’s back. Not something I wanted to hear but what can ya do?

I’m guessing these 2 weeks ahead will be more bearable, I seem to have had a bit of practice for the last 13 days.



I’m just happily content to have been able to actually speak to him. It was the best feeling ever to just hear his voice again *dreamy sigh*. And I’m happy to report that he is also pining over me, the same way I am over him :P





It’s not his fault he won’t be back until then, shit to do with money can just pile up when you least expect it, especially now.



I tried to act all big and brave, but he saw (well heard) right through that lol. He’s not having the most easiest of times with things there, he’s had to give up so much just to satisfy other’s needs.



I’ll reward him when he gets back hehe



Oh and while I’m thinking about it…

I’m am truly sick of that stupid “The Lion fell in love with the Lamb” shit.

I mean it was annoying to begin with, then it became even more of an ass clenched annoyance, now it’s just feckin stupid.



The Lion should just eat the damn Lamb, then fall over and croak from food poisoning…



Hmmm, maybe I should have written the script lol.


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Day 12....

07:52 Jul 27 2009
Times Read: 569




This........is just getting depressing now. Day 12 and still waiting.........



Roll on 2 weeks I guess. What’s a few more days gonna hurt? Ha! I just made myself laugh with that one.



Maybe I'll curl up in bed and watch some disgustingly happy movie, or maybe something funny. I could do with a good laugh. God knows there hasn’t been much to laugh at lately.


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Day 11....

08:15 Jul 26 2009
Times Read: 576




He’s still not back :(

Going to cry now :(


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Day 10 :(

02:38 Jul 25 2009
Times Read: 580




I woke up this morning excited and rearing to get the day started, thinking I'd have some joyous occasion to look forward to. It’d be correct to say that I was floating around like a happy bubble.



THEN the bubble was burst.



I checked my email this morning, and while I was thrilled that I finally got to hear from him, his news wasn’t what I wanted to hear. He won’t be back today maybe tomorrow, but he doesn’t want to get my hopes up too high



I guess I can wait a little longer. It’s not as if I have any choice



*exits*


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Day 9...last day!!! (I hope)

07:34 Jul 24 2009
Times Read: 583




Well just tonight to get through and HOPEFULLY tomorrow will bring with it some happy times to be had by all, most of all me though :P



I’m excitedly numb by the prospect of this shit ending and yet a bit nervous at the same time. I mean, he said the 25th but he couldn’t be sure.



Money is EVIL!!! When you have it you spend it, when you need it, well kick my ass and call me fucker, you don’t have it. I wish I had a bank account that was bursting at the seams, that way he wouldn’t of had to go away for a while. I did offer, but being the hard head that he is, he wouldn’t take it.



I just want to wake up and find him where he should be….

With me


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Day 8....

05:58 Jul 23 2009
Times Read: 590




Finally! After tonight it’s only one more day to go…well it better be. I’m like an effin jumping bean right now. I’m just that damn excited (or maybe it’s a combination of excitement and my friend Mr Bottle of Kiwi flavoured Vodka)



Who knows and who cares right now, the point is I will be in the disgustingly bright land of happiness again. I’ve missed him so frikkin much that I’m surprised I’ve been able to dredge through the days without bursting into tears in public lol.



And if that hobbit thing of a girl went anywhere near him, I will seriously beat 4 feet and 9 inches off of her 4 foot 10 inch ass. Just sayin :) lol



Chocolate covered cream puff anyone? :P


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Day 7....

07:57 Jul 22 2009
Times Read: 598




2 more days to go YEAH! 2 more days to go YAY!



It’s Wednesday , and that means it’s almost Saturday!!!! I’m excited, it’s like I’m 5 again and Santa has left me Hulk Hogan’s No Holds Barred vhs under the tree lol. God I can’t wait to have my better half back. I’m sick of missing him like a mad old crazy woman who’s missing her marbles. I just want this whole ordeal to be done with.



I’m happy again so I’ll probably be doing cartwheels tomorrow and flips on Friday.

Saturday, I’m locking the door *wink wink* LOL :P


COMMENTS

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Trikki
Trikki
18:18 Jul 22 2009

Word. Send pics :) *just kidding* lol





xMitsix
xMitsix
05:57 Jul 23 2009

*grins*



Great idea!!!! :P lol





 

Day 6....

07:20 Jul 21 2009
Times Read: 601




It’s Tuesday night which means not long to wait until Saturday YAY! I can’t wait!! I do hope that day brings an end to this period of lonely days and even lonelier nights. It’s hard to believe I’ve been able to go this long without the simple gestures that he does that mean the world to me.

HA! I talk as if its been 6 years instead of 6 days though at times it’s seemed that long :P

At least I’m in a more positive mood now that I can see the metaphorical light at the end of the tunnel.



Work went by in a flash which is always a good thing when one is willing time to speed up already.



I have a freshly made passionfruit cheesecake waiting for me. I have a feeling I will murder the whole thing before the night ends.



Hopefully the special little surprise I purchased yesterday gets here tomorrow. That will be fun to give to him lol.



3 more days…YAY!!! And tomorrow it will only be 2 more…even more YAYNESS!!!


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Day 5....

07:35 Jul 20 2009
Times Read: 605




Well, I’m at the halfway point now, just 4 more days to go, well it better be 4 more days or I am gonna be PISSED…seriously.



Today was ok, work took up the majority of the day, thank God. I’m slowly starting to feel slightly happy lol. Last night was a bitch. I could not sleep at all. Tossed and turned all night with crazy shit going through my head making me even more paranoid about the situation. My own fault, I guess I think too much.



In the past 5 days, I’ve gone from being totally inconsolably unhappy (verging on going emo lol) to slightly depressed, even more depressed, worried to paranoid. Hopefully the next few days will bring forth the more positive aspects of the scale that is, for now, my love life.



I will admit that one major reason why I couldn’t sleep was the fact that I had these terribly realistic visions of him having some massive orgy with a bunch of girls. NOT something you want to have pop in your head when you’re trying to go to sleep and forget about things for a few hours at least. I can sort of laugh about it now while trying to convince myself that I’m just being silly. Anyways, he knows I’d chop it off in a second if he did that *evil grin* lol



On to another day…yay



Oh and one more thing…

I absolutely loathe know it alls, especially when their well of knowledge comes from Wikipedia.

You can’t be an expert on EVERYTHING.

Though you may think you are, you’re not, believe me


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Day 4...

09:23 Jul 19 2009
Times Read: 610




Another day that I can strike off. Still have that little icky feeling of "damn I miss you" inside. It was a good day up until I started thinking about certain things. I have the habit of dwelling on things or creating situations in my head that end up worrying the piss out of me. I am a terrible pessimist at times.



I think it has a lot to do with not knowing what’s going on. It’s not that I don’t trust him, it’s got more to do with the people who have effed me over in the past, so I end up putting the fears I have, on him. Stupid, I know, but when you’re thousands of miles away from someone and you have no idea what’s going on or who they’re with, it can get to you.



Thank God I’m going back to work tomorrow. 3am start, off at 11:30am then off to my second job at 11:45am until 2:45pm. YAY! I have a feeling that my productivity at work will be at an even higher standard this week :P.



Grease is on the TV right now lol. I happen to think Rizzo is a form of Goddess that we should all look up to. Sandy is too much of a candy cane, starched undies goody two shoes for me. Blah



5 more days to go, I think. Maybe I’ll do some retail therapy to ease my worried mind. Hmmm, I could do with another pair of shoes to my already bursting shoe closet.



*sigh*


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Day 3....

06:57 Jul 18 2009
Times Read: 618




It’s Saturday night here, it’s raining, it’s cold and I’m not feeling very good. Still, it’s another day down and only 7 more to go. I’ve tried the not thinking about it too much thing, doesn’t really work when all you have on your mind is how much you want it to be next week already lol.



I’m actually, for the first time ever, wishing Monday would get here so I can go back to work. I’ll be back at my second job again after the 2 week holiday so at least I’ll be able to waste away a few more hours to make it seem like time is going by more quickly than it really is.



Tried to occupy myself today with the usual mundane weekend tasks that could be done while it’s pouring outside. I seem to be in a fog, not very surprising really. Funny how being apart from someone can make you see how terribly unimportant things can seem when they’re not with you.



The Rugby test match is on tonight. My New Zealand All Blacks vs Aussie, should be a good game. I know he wanted to watch it so I guess I’ll give him a match report. Hope we win.



One more day closer to the prize.



I wonder what he’s doing right now?……


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Day 2 *sigh*

08:13 Jul 17 2009
Times Read: 625




So, it’s been a little over 24 hours now and I’m going crazy. I’ve run out of things to occupy my time with and I am, for the moment, tired of the sweet goodness that is chocolate. The copious amounts of chocolate I knew I would eat have been devoured and I still have 8 or more days to wait ICK!



I went to work this morning, the time seemed to fly by there. So now that it’s officially the weekend, time seems to want to kick my ass. I cleaned, I baked 3 cakes and an assortment of cookies, channel surfed and attempted to read a book. That only took up 3 hours of my time. 3 whole effin hours!!!!

I swear, I wanted to beat the shit out of the clock at that point lol.



I have no idea what I’m going to do with myself for the next 48 hours. Monday can’t roll on fast enough. At least then I’ll have my second job to occupy my ever slow moving day with, and by then it will be down to 6 days *mumbles*.



UGH I hate this. I hate it I hate it I hate it. It’s cold and I’m restless and I FUCKING HATE THIS!!!



People have told me that I should stop thinking about it, that I’m only making myself crazy over something so small. “It’s not the end of the world Mitsi” “The days will just fly by Mitsi” “I’m sure you’ll live without him for over a week Mitsi” UUUUUGHHHHGGGGG!!!

How about Mitsi comes and tears that over caked on make up thing you call a face off of that ass backwards permed head and shoves it up your ass!!!!



I’m in serious need of a cig.



I hate missing him


COMMENTS

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Trikki
Trikki
13:26 Jul 18 2009

Awww....*hugs* :)





 

Day 1 and counting *sigh*

12:07 Jul 16 2009
Times Read: 633




It’s almost the 17th of July here. Why is this important? Because until the 25th of July or a few days after, I will be in a personal hell!!! 9 days or more of being lonely *sigh*. Yes that’s right, 9 or more days of being an emotional train wreck who will probably be on the cusp of becoming slightly emo, minus the cutting (I’m not THAT upset!)

My rock has to be away from me for these terribly unhappy 9 or so days that are in front of me. I know 9 days doesn’t seem like much, but when you’ve never been out of contact with someone for more than a day or so for the past 3 years, then it indeed feels like forever.



So I have decided to help save what little sanity I will have for there 9 or more days, and stop myself from eating copious amounts of chocolate and using a forest worth of tissues, I will write an entry detailing how extremely “woe is me and I don’t know what to do with myself” I am lol



Day 1


It’s been 5 hours since we last talked. My lip started to tremble and my eyes started filling after 5 minutes, so can you imagine what I look like after 5 hours!! I keep thinking FUCK! How am I going to last 9 days of this if I can’t even handle a few hours?!?!?!?!?! It’s crazy yet sad at the same time.



I didn’t even get to say bye, which sucks total monkey ass to be honest. I’m the type of person who likes to beat shit around in my head over and over again if I didn’t get the chance to do or say something. That has the ability to drive even the most sane amongst us NUTS!!!!



Anywho, I knew it was coming, this whole not being able to even talk to thing, so for the past 4 days I tried to hide the icky, sad, can't breathe, lump in my throat coz I want to cry feeling that I had. That was an epic fail right there lol. I don’t know what is worse though, the knowing/ waiting for something to happen or the count down of the days until it’s over.



Ick, this sucks, maybe I should brush my hair over my face, listen to some MCR and tell the world to die for the duration of my dilemma? What do you think? No? Just as well, I don’t think my rock of a boyfriend would appreciate the show of angst lol.



*sigh* Chocolate here I come. By the time he comes back I won't be able to stand the sight of you my yummy friend.



Until tomorrow......



(Note to self: I will be in dire need of chocolate restocking by tomorrow, so I must make sure to get a cart load of the cocoa sugar filled goodness tomorrow)


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